February 2012
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My go-to load of laundry, a.k.a. ~the essentials~
Sweatpants
T-shirts
Work pants
Underwear
cleverlikewhoa asked: you wash your hair every day? no more grease-rock photo shoots? boooooooo
Me: I think Mom was butthurt about me canceling plans with her last weekend, so I told her we could go watch The Vow together and have margaritas to make up for it.
Him: Nice! That means I don't have to go see it with you!
Me: Bonus!
Him: Wait, is that the one with Channing Tatum in it?
Me: Yes.
Him: Aw damnit, I might want to see that one. He's dreamy.
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Last night as my Kindle Fire powered off from...
“a paperback would never power off on me.”
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I will never be a person who buys thrift store...
and I think I am okay with that.
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umcanyounot asked: Can you make one of your Sims "Tebow" and then assassinate that Sim? PLEASE.
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"Val are you eatin' sushi?"
Me: Yeah.
Her: Is it CUT UP?
Me: Yeah.
Her: What's THAT? (points)
Me: A shrimp tail.
Her: [Pause] [Shudder]
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Update.
She just opened the fridge to get a drink and she saw it.
She stared at it for a few seconds and then said:
Oh, Valerie.
WHAT is this?
SUSHI?
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footagenotfound replied to your post: The secretary in our office is delightfully…
Please tell me the sushi came from Piggly Wiggly.
Nope. Publix. Sorry to disappoint.
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The secretary in our office is delightfully uncultured. I believe I’ve written here before about how she excitedly proclaimed that THEY’RE PUTTING WATER IN SQUARE BOTTLES NOW, I SAW IT IN THE QUICKIE STORE, and how she freaked out when I was cutting an avocado at my desk one time.
I brought sushi for lunch today. Send reinforcements.
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Oh! I thought of a hobby!
Unsubscribing from people on Facebook.
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CROUTONS.
Amirite?
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When someone asks you what your hobbies are
and you realize you don’t have any :(
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“You have pretty hair!”
– Thank you, random student on campus! I would much rather receive a compliment like this, rather than commentary on the roundness of my derriere or my decolletage! This is acceptable to me, and thanks for the confidence boost!
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Work Pet Peeve
When you stand over me while I’m doing a layout for something in InDesign, and while I’m changing things around you say shit like THAT DOESN’T LOOK RIGHT or THAT NEEDS TO BE CHANGED or whatever. Like asshole, if you give me fourteen fucking seconds I’m about to change that, I don’t need you sitting here giving me step by step instructions, I’m not about to make...
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Question.
If you’re invited to a wedding on St. Patrick’s Day, is it tacky to wear a green dress?
Anonymous asked: Howdy! I don't have a tumblr account, so I can't comment your posts, but I wanted to thank you for replying to my doggy potty training question, and for posting the follow up reply. Great advice, and it's already working! We blocked off half of his cage, and so far he has had 2 poopies outside! Wow, never in my life did I think I would get so ecstatic and excited about a dog...
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I got an email from Kari re: potty training puppies and I wanted to share her advice for the anon asker:
can you suggest to that person that they section the cage off…make the cage just big enough for the dog to lay down. they don’t want to lay in their own urine and feces, so most dogs will decide to hold it while they are in the cage instead of using it in a small space where...
Anonymous asked: first of all, i love your tumblr, you are awesome. second of all, i adore your adoration of kitties and puppies. since you seem like a true expert in pet stuff, what is your best advice for potty training a puppy? me and my bf just adopted a 3 month old yellow lab from a shelter. so far he is a really good dog, except since he was at a shelter for a month, he is completely fine with going potty...
umcanyounot asked: Can you make one of your Sims have a meth problem?
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Just remembered that I drunkenly put the following...
Dick Shaft
Clit Jizz
Titty Fucker
It’s really nice to get notifications like “Mark Waltham and Titty Fucker are totally committed to one another and have decided to tie the knot!”
I am hungover and probably still a little drunk from drinking too many Manhattans while watching Jersey Shore last night (WHOOPS), so I’m in a silly mood and I emailed Steph to ask if we could be total cat ladies and talk about our cats and it is GLORIOUS. OH MY GOD GUYS I LOVE CATS SO MUCH I COULD TALK ABOUT THEM FOREVER
I feel like this is one of those days where I just post every time...
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Here's some puke talk for your Friday morning.
Keep on scrolling past this post.
My boss was just telling me about how her dog vommed this morning, and while she was trying to clean it (it’s actually her son’s dog, she’s keeping her while he’s away at college), she had to run to the bathroom and ralph, because it was so disgusting.
I think it bodes well for me and my future offspring that I don’t get grossed out...
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