February 2012
Aaaaand now I'm singing "Like a purr-gin" to my...
I am a delight to live with.
Pretty sure I just accidentally left a message on David’s voicemail that included me talking to myself.
umcanyounot asked: can I see the "fuck off" gif you made of yourself please? and how's your hair doing today? what shape is it?
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Damn it
Why couldn’t these two crazy kids just have worked it out?
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My pants shrunk in the dryer.
That’s why they’re uncomfortably tight today. That is literally the only explanation.
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“Do you want these Cheez-Its?”
– the most beautiful question in the English language
Let's go ahead and nip it in the bud.
The icons are different. Can we move on now?
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“I did not know anything about a mini semester. Who is responcible for letting...”
– A response to a mass student email I sent out about a mini-semester that begins in a couple weeks. The decision to have this mini semester was only reached last week, so it’s all in a bit of a rush, and I was trying to spread the word by sending that email.
I really want to reply to this...
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True Confession Monday
I still haven’t sent out all my thank-you notes.
Please validate me and tell me I’m not a terrible person?
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Consolation prize for it being Monday:
I am wearing a bigass, baggy shirt and not worrying about the gut bulge.
Feels good, man.
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Today in Adorably Uncultured Co-worker antics:
I (stupidly) got some Chicken Yakisoba for lunch and the admin assistant got wide-eyed, as she usually does when I bring in anything that isn’t fried or covered in butter.
IS THAT SPAGHETTI?
OH! LOOK AT YOU, USING CHOPSTICKS! I’VE NEVER USED EM BEFORE.
Color me shocked.
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On my way home from my parents' house tonight
I smelled a fart smell in my car. An unfamiliar fart that I knew I hadn’t farted. I began to wonder if there was actually someone else in the car with me. I was not concerned, however, for my safety. I was afraid that someone had heard me wailing out half of Paramore’s 2007 album RIOT!
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Depressing thought of the day
People who hide behind the veil of anonymity and make racist, homophobic, sexist, hateful, awful comments on these here intertubes… they are real people with faces and families and lives and jobs and some of them are our coworkers and our cousins and our dry cleaners and our waiters and we interact with them on a daily basis and don’t even realize it and that shit just really scares me...
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Ah, middle aged moms.
(Admin Assistant’s phone starts ringing, it’s a country music ringtone)
Her: What’s that?
Me: …your phone?
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dontsprainyourvagina asked: Thanks to you, I think every song is about meth now.
Anonymous asked: The sky it was gold, it was rose, I was taking sips of it through my nose, and I wish I could get back there, some place back there, smiling in the pictures you would take...
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“I forgot my cheese. Dadgummit.”
– Admin Assistant
I know how you feel, girl. I know how you feel.
Is it "all of a sudden" or "all the sudden"?
My entire life I have known it as “all of a sudden” (reference: literacy) but I see SO many people refer to it as “all the sudden” that it has me questioning everything.
MY WHOLE LIFE HAS BEEN A LIE
UP IS DOWN AND LEFT IS RIGHT
Remember last week when I said that David’s co-worker got a free meal from some anonymous restaurant diner because she was pretty? I told David that now when we go out to eat, he has to tell the waiter to tell me that some anonymous patron has taken care of my meal, so the people at the tables around me can hear me go on like, “OH MY GOSH, THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING, MY IRRESISTIBLE YET...
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super-serious replied to your post: Oh and someone broke into our neighbor’s house yesterday in the middle of the damn day and stole a ton of shit.
um.. do you mean Sims or real life??
Real life. When Sims’ homes get broken into in my game I murder the burglar before he or she can take anything, so we don’t have problems there.
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Oh and someone broke into our neighbor's house...
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I just really want someone to name their kid...
We’ve been married for four months today.
Everyone always seems to say OH MY GOD IT DOESN’T EVEN SEEM LIKE IT, but no, I disagree. It seems like exactly four months. And I don’t mean that in a bad way. The wedding just seems so far behind me and that’s the way I like it.
The honeymoon seems like more than four months ago though.
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Religion
I don’t know what to think about religion because if there were a God, I’d currently be married to Robert Downey, Jr., but then I remember the existence of Wendy’s spicy chicken and I’m back at square one.
ibroughtyousometoast asked: On the real though, the Godzilla soundtrack had really good songs by Foo Fighters and Ben Folds. And Rage too. But Puff had the best song in the history of Inventing the Remix.
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True Confession Tuesday
I’m listening to the Godzilla soundtrack on Spotify. The one from 1998.
All of y'all are killing me with your "I'm not at...
I ain’t mad atcha, because I’d be doing the same thing.
But damn.
INSULT TO INJURY OVER HERE. CRYING RN TBH
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